Frequently Asked Questions
The label says Shine, is it moonshine?
No. The label says shine because we named it that. Moonshine is any untaxed liquor produced without proper licensing. We have the licensing, and pay the tax. Why? because the prison system is a great deterrent.
Vodka is made from potatoes?
Vodka is made from potatoes and anything else that can be converted to sugar just not our vodka. Our Vodka is made from Cane Sugar. There are some great Vodkas made from potatoes but I Personally enjoy butter, sour cream, and scallions with my potatoes. Gravy when mashed. It just wasn’t very appealing to us after we shoved all of that in a bottle.
What is Dulcis Piscis?
That’s two fancy words we found in the Latin language that translate to Sweet Fish. Don’t worry not one fish was harmed in making this beverage. We didn’t even use fish to make this. It’s not that we are anti-fish, we aren’t. That’s such an awkward Stance to have considering there may be more of them than there are of us. We like the fishes, We are friend to the fishes and when they learn to read this will stand as a testament to that fact.
Do you have tours?
Sure we do. Stop on by. the tour is free. If your nice, use your manners, and are of age we will even offer you a sample.
Can i Bring a Friend?
Your friends are welcome as well. The same rules apply to them concerning age and manners. So choose your friends wisely. Trust me on this one you should see some of my friends.
Can my Friend bring a Friend?
Now here’s where it gets tricky. Friend of a friend doesn’t always work out. There’s always that moment an inside joke comes up and your the only one not laughing. But don’t worry because our products can work as a social lubricant when used responsibly.
What if i Don’t Have any friends?
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Do you sell to the public?
Yes, quite often as a matter of fact. Friends and family too, although they just don’t drink enough to support us full time.
Do you sell to Privates?
Yes, We Don’t Discriminate against any entry level ranks of the military. That would be flat out wrong. Thankfully This Country of ours Still has men and women of the right character Willing to defend us. GOD Bless our Troops.
Who Don’t you sell to?
This list is short. Anyone intoxicated, Under 21 Years of Age, and LLamas.
Why are you Anti-llamas?
It’s not my fault. there was this petting zoo incident in my youth. I had an allergic reaction and since then I have managed to avoid llamas.
Can I show you Pictures of my dogs?
Pictures of dogs are welcomed. Unless your dog is a llama.
Do you Accept credit cards?
Yes. we do have the technology available to take a credit card as payment.
Do you accept cash?
Yes. We just finished a new math workbook and are ultra confident with making change.
How much wood would a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood?
New york Fish and Wildlife technician Richard Thomas Answered that question back in the 1980’s. His determination is about 700 pounds on a good day, with the wind at his back. This is the official position of Lang Beverage Co. until a better answer can be provided.
Are you Lonesome tonight?
Not sure if Elvis ever got that answer.
Do you make anything other than Vodka?
Yes. We produce various amounts of limited release spirits available directly from the distillery. Or a friend if your friend happened to be at the Distillery and used their manners.
Are you in the State store?
Currently our 220 shine vodka is available locally in the greater Wilkes Barre metropolitan area Fine Wine and Good Spirits Stores.
Do you believe any conspiracy theories?
Yes. I am a firm believer in one purposed by my father. Anytime you drive anywhere an underground closely guarded group of individuals radio ahead and have the slowest drivers possible pull out ahead of you. Each time you manage to overtake this driver another takes it’s place within a matter of minutes. It’s the only explanation. It’s held true for years. Doubt me on this? Take a look at the driver in front of you next time you need to get somewhere.
What Sparked your idea of making booze?
I was bored one day. Just like the day i wrote all of these absurd question and answers.